My Edgewalker Journey #10 – Walking Between Worlds

Living in Hawi on the northern most point of the Big Island of Hawaii was beautiful and isolated. House sitting for friends on their 12 acre sanctuary was heaven on earth. I was deeply grateful to be surrounded by tropical fruit orchards and abundant flowering plants and trees, coy ponds with crystals and lotus flowers, egrets flying, cows and horses in the fields, and breathtaking views of Maui and the Pacific Ocean in the distance. My favorite thing was gazing at the infinite stars in the dark night sky. I felt at one and connected to the Universe as if I were walking between the worlds. At times I also experienced isolation, aloneness and felt small.  My so called problems and life seemed insignificant in the grand scheme of things, like I was an ant invisible in an ant hill. It was a valuable yet often uncomfortable perspective that threatens the ego and invites the spirit at the same time.

The Hawaiian Islands are the most isolated place on Earth. The closest land is about 2500 miles in any direction. It can feel like heaven or hell on earth, depending on your perspective. I loved the peace and quiet, beautiful nature, expansive, nurturing energy of the land and fresh air, and being away from my life on the mainland. However, the longer I was there the more I was BEING in the quiet and not DOING and staying busy. I was reminded of how much I was driven to distraction my entire life. My New York, type A personality and east coast upbringing was still running me even though I was thousands of miles away in the middle of the Pacific Ocean. The expression, “You can take the girl out of NY but you cannot take the NY out of the girl” applied here. You can be in the most beautiful, peaceful and remote place in the world, yet the peace and quiet becomes deafening and uncomfortable when the voices of self-judgement, doubt, old stories and the ego mind start to chatter. The “monkey mind” as they call it in Buddhism,  become very loud. All the issues, fears, limitations and insecurities I was running away from caught up with me on that beautiful sanctuary on the Big Island. I was faced with myself, the self I did not like to BE with, feel, acknowledge.

I sought heaven, yet was still living on Earth. As an Edgewalker I understand that life has many dimensions and WALKING BETWEEN WORLDS integrates body, mind and spirit. My sense of belonging and interconnectedness with nature, the stars and greater Universe felt easy. However I also was living in a physical body with it’s challenges, human experiences and emotions, fears and concerns.  Looking back the support I had from friends and neighbors including Jim Channon, and so much time alone provided me the much needed perspective to stop, get grounded, listen, feel and heal.  It was as if I was having an identity crises, letting go of my old world and paradigm, yet not yet knowing where my new life and Source of Self would come from. Little did I know that my authentic self was within me waiting to be revealed. I had been searching all my life for the very thing that had been within me from birth and beyond, my Divinity, my spiritual heart, my soul. I began peeling away the layers as the journey of transformation continued.

**Lessons:

*No matter where you go there you are. You cannot run from yourself.

*Give space and time to the parts of you that want to be seen, heard, expressed.  You are worthy and deserving of your love, compassion, patience and nurturing. Watch, observe, breathe and allow. As you reclaim your wholeness you reclaim your life.

*Paradise is an inside job. We can create heaven on earth when we find peace and acceptance within ourselves first.

Walking on the Leading Edge #8- A Journey of Power, Passion & Peace

The Big Island of Hawaii is one of the few places in the world where I want to kiss the ground when I get off the airplane. I feel at home there. I am embraced, welcomed and resonate with the energy. I love the wild and diverse beauty and how big it is! All of the other Hawaiians islands can fit into the Big Island.  Though I have never lived there full time the weeks and months I did spend in the Summer and Fall of 2007 changed my life. My focus, direction and path shifted dramatically due to events and the deeper healing and revelations that occurred on the Big Island.

I was first called to the Big Island. I had to swim with the dolphins. Little did I know the call was more about dying to my old life and identity to uncover, discover and connect more with my authentic self.  The locals say that “Hawaii either embraces you or chews you up and spits you out.” The Hawaiian islands have embraced me since the first day of my arrival. Some of  this embrace had to do with my willingness to transform, release my old limiting beliefs, conditioned behaviors and worn out relationship patterns. The new space created a greater opening for my long buried Divine Essence to express. I have known many individuals who could not stay on Hawaii for more than a couple of weeks as it was too difficult and intense emotionally resulting in broken relationships, financial troubles, etc. I ended up staying for a couple of months and then kept coming back again and again over the next decade.  My intense Scorpio nature, commitment to my spiritual growth and desire to be free from my story and ego persona gave me the courage and stickability to stay in this raw and beautiful paradise. Being a runner all my life I finally stopped and faced myself. Over time like a ball of twine unravelling I discovered my deeper Truth & Integrity.

The Hawaiian legend of Pele, the Goddess of Fire, is alive on the Big Island of Hawaii and supported this transformational shift as did the powerful energy of Kilauea volcano that is active at Volcano National Park.  Pele’s story explains that “Like a volcano’s lava that creates new land, the goddess Pele reminds us that, even fiery eruptions and emotional upheavals are followed by new life and change. As an archetype Pele is a passionate and creative force that transforms and rebuilds the landscapes of our lives.”

A perfect explanation and metaphor for my life. In addition my Edgewalker qualities of passion & playfulness were essential as I navigated through this adventurous time of fiery, passionate transformation, powerful change and experiencing a more centered and peaceful existence. House and dog sitting by myself at my friend’s beautiful 12 acre Kohala Sanctuary in Hawi, the northern most point of the Big Island, was the perfect setting for this chapter in the school called my life!

**Lesson from Pele, Hawaiian Goddess of Fire (worth repeating):

“Like a volcano’s lava that creates new land, the goddess Pele reminds us that, even fiery eruptions and emotional upheavals are followed by new life and change. As an archetype Pele is a passionate and creative force that transforms and rebuilds the landscapes of our lives.”

Walking on the Leading Edge #6- Delays, Detours, Deepening / Future to Past

Aloha! Welcome back to my Edgewalker blog and evolutionary leaps of faith! Thank you for your patience and joining me again on my journey. “Life is what happens when we are busy making other plans,” said the legendary John Lennon. Many of you have been following me since I began this blog many months ago. I had it all planned how and when I would write and organize my blog. However, I continue to learn the lesson that I/we are not in control and Divine Timing has a “Mind” of it’s own!

In April 2017 a major life event and transitions that were not planned resulted in my taking a 2 month break from my blog.  I am excited to share this future/present story with you now that will take us back to the past in my upcoming blog posts.

My big news is I got married on Maui April 1, 2017 to my love and best friend Italian artist Dario Campanile. We met April 6, 2012 at our mutual friend’s beach wedding on Maui. Five years later almost to the day we got “Mauied” on the same exact beach we met, with the same friend’s present. This was not planned and a last minute decision. Even though we have been together for 5 years and engaged for 2, when and where we would marry was never clear due to our traveling and life transitions. We waited together for the CEO moment, when it would be made Clear, Easy & Obvious for our sacred marriage. Synchronistically my Mother from NY was visiting us in Maui where we were living for the Winter months. At the same time the friends whose wedding we met at were visiting Maui from their home in California. Maui brought us together and we knew we wanted a small Hawaiian ceremony with those exact people present!

Dario and I have learned to trust the signs and realize there are no accidents. We took a leap of faith and knew the time was right for us to marry. So within a few short weeks every detail necessary to have a beautiful sunset wedding on Maui was handled with ease including the availability of Lei’ohu Ryder, the Hawaiian minister to facilitate our sacred ceremony. I always carried the intention in my heart since I began this Edgewalker journey in 2007 to meet my Divine Complement & Spiritual Partner.  The emotional, spiritual, mental and physical deepening and healing that I needed over the past 10 years to attract my husband was an evolution in how I love myself, my Higher Self and my intimate partner. This leap of faith brought me to the magical moment of spiritual union that was greater than I ever imagined.  Even being locked out of my computer due to a possible hacking during my Mexico honeymoon, transitioning to my married name Campanile and travels to mainland USA , supported me in being more present and available to love and be loved, to have the right partner and BE the right partner.

In blog post #7  next week I will continue to share my journey beginning in 2007 that led me to my Maui wedding 10 years later in 2017.  Mahalo (thank you) for joining me!  My heartfelt gratitude to the Universe for the Delays, Detours, and Deepening!

Lessons:

*Delays, Detours and Deepening support us in our Highest Good (regardless of how things may look and feel) if we only let go, trust, surrender, allow.

*Love of God/Universe, Love of Self, Love of Another/Others (in that order!)

*You are worth it! Believe, have faith. Remember every NO creates the space for a greater YES!